Thursday, March 13, 2008

This is my 'Mr. Right To Be'

As we meet for the first time, I should feel, he wants me because he is interested. He may be able to express those qualities the way he gave his compliment, his detailed attention, his sincere look, and even his gentle touch. He may provide himself an ample amount of willingness to move the relationship onward. Those constant e-mails, phone calls, text-messages may not be enough for him to know me more, to touch me, to see me, and to admire me.

Right after we met, I may soon found out that he had achieved at least a certain point in his life having a good job because he went to college. Or maybe, he was able to learn the ABCs of his parent's business if ever he inherited one. He has the efforts of continuously seeking new horizons for opportunities, challenges, skills, and even possessions.

As time goes on, I may discover that he is a guy who really meant what he says, whatever words he speaks are coupled with corresponding concrete actions. Whenever he couldn't promise everything, at least, he always tries to keep the relationship moving onward. I should not be in a situation finding myself checking him up through the phone in the wee hours of the morning because he is with someone else.

As we move forward, getting emails, text-messages, and occasional plans aren't enough to what we need and shared with. He should be devoted, reciprocal, mutual, inasmuch as I am to him. I should feel what he gives is meaningful and valuable as what I have offered him.

He should have good friends whom I like that when he is with them, I am assured and certain, that he is a man I know and love whether with him or apart, He will not turn to somebody else if ever I am out of sight. Whenever he is with my friend, I know for sure that he will be as charming, enhancing and engaging as he is, and not detracting or undermining.

He will like me for who I am. If ever I'm having a bad day, or saying something he doesn’t like, I just expect, his view of me will remain the same with his firm adoration. I should be aware of a guy who suddenly changes his perception if ever I behave differently from his expectations. In order to keep his approval, I shouldn’t feel being suppressed.

Whenever we are in an argument, if ever I feel bad or terrible about myself, he should not antagonize me, instead he will consider both the good and bad out of me. And when it is over, it’s over, that’s it. He should relieve himself of suspicions and bad feelings. No matter what, he must love me as a good person as I am.

If he is the one really right for me, he should have a certain degree of tolerance in terms of the unexpected and unknown issues that will befall us. He will not keep on grappling and leasing me down in every moment of the day to make him feel secure. He should give me my dignity, independence and privacy I deserve, knowing my capabilities, limitations, boundaries, and not blocking me out or keeping a distance to exert dominance.

He has the willingness to talk and to listen as well. Whenever a relationship obstacle is molding up, shall we say, if he starts friendship with a flirtatious girl and I let him know that this will create a problem, he must be sensible about what I feel and he must be concerned enough to come up with a workable solution. Learning his mistakes and modifying his action are paramount.

Rather than reacting solely to his problem, if ever there is, he must take the initiative to seek his own solutions. He should reach out for help, talk about it with friends, and if necessary go to and attend therapy, find resources and anything that will bring him nearer to the changes he needs for himself. His super-ego, reluctance or stubbornness should not prevent him in taking positive steps to have a responsible relationship with me.

He should not assert power and control over me especially in making mutual decisions. He must not leave me wondering what he is doing or where he is. If ever he is earning more, his status in his job, and even his power should not be a factor to make me feel that I would be nothing without him.

Do these sound self-centered or egoistic? … Or maybe assertive. . . .

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